Yesterday, I was walking home from getting waxed and the tiniest little black kitten ran across my path and started mew-owing at me. He was so cute. I have NEVER called myself an animal lover. i like animals, I don't hate them, but really, I am not one to go gushy over an animal.
The kitten looked about 2 weeks old. And continued to mew-ow at me. So I called Junior. He informed me that it had probably grown up in the pipes of the sewer (which I was walking next to) and don't touch him, he probably has desease all over him. He said 'just leave him' . So listening to my wise (or cruel) boyfriend (you decide!) I started to walk on. The kitten followed, running at my feet. He kept getting caught up in my feet and I kicked him by accident a few times. He would not leave me alone. So I called Junior again. He told me, again, just leave it. you can't touch it or do anything. so I started to run. I ran across the bridge and COMPLETLY ABANDONED the kitten. I left him behind, crying out for me. He was crying, yelping, whatever you call it when a cat is in distress!
Urgh, my heart ached to leave him there. Grown up in the sewer!!!!!! Poor kitten!!!!!I did the worst thing and gave him a name in my head (He would have been called George assuming he was a boy)
It was a traumatic experience. Animal lover I am not. 2nd language responder I am.
I asked Junior when I got home if we could go and get him and take him to the Vet or an animal rescue place...but alas, there exists not such thing around these parts.
So that Kitten (George) at the age of 2 weeks, already has an orphan spirit. given to him by me, the big fat abandoner! I prayed for him, yeh, probably the first time I've ever prayed for an animal!!!
That was my morning yesterday.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Patience
About 5 months ago, at the end of one of my blogs I quoted something that I had written to a friend about what I had been learning: "I have been learning that Love is Patient. when God is patient with me, it's not patience that is weary, or itching for something to happen, or doubtful that the desire will one day be filled. His patience for me, is strong, peaceful, resting and welcoming. He waits for me with patience. He loves me with patience. there is no pressure, there is grace, it is complete. I want this patience. I want to rest in my love for people. I want to rest in God's love for me. I want to love and for that love to be patient."
And now I am being blown away by so much more of this patient love. I really don't know what is going to happen next...and that 'next' doesn't mean next year, or next month or even next week, right now, 'next', to me, means tomorrow. I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I have desires and dreams growing inside me and I want to know the outcome, I want to feel 'safe' in my own understanding. But God is asking me to be patient. To rest in his love which is patient: not weary, or itching for something to happen, or doubtful that the desire will one day be fulfilled. His patience is strong, peaceful, resting and welcoming, full of grace and complete.
Wow! God really is good ALL of the time, he really does know everything and really is faithful in preparing me for what's ahead. 5 months ago, I had no idea that I would still be unfolding the deptth of God's love that is patient.
Here is a confession: my biggest frustration in speaking portuguese is that it takes me so long to say what I want to say. (Because I am not fluent yet)I feel embarresed and sometimes I just don't speak at all for this very reason. God was talking to me about this. People need to be patient with me when I speak, and wow, what an incredible blessing it is when they are. I find it hard to even accept this kind of love. (and probably harder to love myself with this kind of love!)
So I am learning to be patient; not with my own patience or with the patience of the world, but by receiveing, being crushed, consumed and overwhelmed by God's love that is completely patient.
Honestly, it's not easy to wait. But it is always worth it. and God's grace is enough. it has to be - he promised and he never breaks his promises.
And now I am being blown away by so much more of this patient love. I really don't know what is going to happen next...and that 'next' doesn't mean next year, or next month or even next week, right now, 'next', to me, means tomorrow. I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I have desires and dreams growing inside me and I want to know the outcome, I want to feel 'safe' in my own understanding. But God is asking me to be patient. To rest in his love which is patient: not weary, or itching for something to happen, or doubtful that the desire will one day be fulfilled. His patience is strong, peaceful, resting and welcoming, full of grace and complete.
Wow! God really is good ALL of the time, he really does know everything and really is faithful in preparing me for what's ahead. 5 months ago, I had no idea that I would still be unfolding the deptth of God's love that is patient.
Here is a confession: my biggest frustration in speaking portuguese is that it takes me so long to say what I want to say. (Because I am not fluent yet)I feel embarresed and sometimes I just don't speak at all for this very reason. God was talking to me about this. People need to be patient with me when I speak, and wow, what an incredible blessing it is when they are. I find it hard to even accept this kind of love. (and probably harder to love myself with this kind of love!)
So I am learning to be patient; not with my own patience or with the patience of the world, but by receiveing, being crushed, consumed and overwhelmed by God's love that is completely patient.
Honestly, it's not easy to wait. But it is always worth it. and God's grace is enough. it has to be - he promised and he never breaks his promises.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Uruguay
Yep! that´s where I am right now. In an internet cafe in Uruguay...I´m just on the boarder of Brasil and Uruguay so the people here speak spanish and understand portuguese very well.
I´m in a city that is like one big Duty Free Shopping place in an airport. Everywhere sells duty free stuff. Things from all over the world...well mostly the States. It´s a very poor place though. Well, just thought I´d say hi! and let you know where I am. Uruguay.
Oh, we are doing a ´History Maker´s conference here.´It´s going well. Last night I think I sweated half my weight away whilst playing keys for worship! not because I was playing so hard, but because it was so hot. Today it´s raining. that´s fantastic!
Ok, bye xx
I´m in a city that is like one big Duty Free Shopping place in an airport. Everywhere sells duty free stuff. Things from all over the world...well mostly the States. It´s a very poor place though. Well, just thought I´d say hi! and let you know where I am. Uruguay.
Oh, we are doing a ´History Maker´s conference here.´It´s going well. Last night I think I sweated half my weight away whilst playing keys for worship! not because I was playing so hard, but because it was so hot. Today it´s raining. that´s fantastic!
Ok, bye xx
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