A Piece of π

You are

so big, you are
so good, you are
for me, you are
mine, you are
over and above
inside and out
upside and down
back to front
front to back
feet to feet
hands to hands
mouth to mouth
one
you are
we are
it's not over yet
there's so much more of who you are
closer
your reality
my hope
my truth
you are
'I AM'

Restless

I feel restless tonight
I want you to call me out
bring me peace
give me purpose
Fighting is over
So why do I still want you to approve me?
I always want you to approve me
I am nothing without you
Without you
I want you
Withdraw from me to realise my sour complacency
I am nothing without you
Exhausting all of my efforts
Tired of my empty offerings
Yet you still approve me
You still love me
Over and over
over and over I turn
I am restless tonight
(You are)
Calling
me
out
into
Love
over and over
Relentless
Peace
Steadfast
Love
Faithfulness
Goodness
Kindness
Self control
Patience
Joy
Gentleness
Gentle in my restlessness
Right to my core
Shot like an arrow
You, more of you
So much more of you
I need you
Awakening Love
I am restless for you

Song of Solomon 5:4 My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him.

Going to work with Daddy

Today was my 2nd day at work with Daddy! I am doing clerical work at his surgery. What a treat to ride in the car with him in the mornings and sometimes see him throughout the day!

I work really lovely hours and today I came home and sat down with my Mum who had been working in her new studio on her latest pottery. We looked at her little sketch book and talked about her design for the center pieces at my Brother's wedding in July.

And then...I went to work in the studio on my art...and then we had tea (dinner) all together when my Dad came home. How lovely to be at home again :)

That was a lovely day.
and here is a picture I took of our interesting pasta that we had for tea tonight:

Militis Rue

militis rue

Grace is your reward

I am stuck on Grace, I can't get it out of my heart, my head or my creative ideas. I am going to do some sort of series maybe. And here it begins.
I can not live without grace. Grace has changed my life. His grace is enough. His grace is my reward.

Welcomed in

Driving in Canada

I love that I can turn right on a red light here...it saves so much time.
I don't love four-way stops...I much prefer to have the main road going through and then the minor roads at a T junction or intersection. Roundabouts are a fun alternative too.
I don't like traffic lights on roads where the speed limit is above 30 mph (not sure what that is in kpm)
I like how fast and nippy you have to be to drive in Toronto; it brings out my assertiveness.
I like that roads run east to west or north to south although I do find myself repeating Never Eat Shredded Wheat under my breath whilst driving, just to remember which direction I'm going in or should be going in! I have specific landmarks which help too. eg I know that G&C's is generally west of downtown as is TACF. Russ and Jo's and Alyn and AJ's are north. Barrie is north, but parallel north and further north than Russ and Jo's and Alyn and AJ's. Stratford is west. Niagara is south. Yorkdale is east and TACF east is east (I've never been, but cant think of anything else that is east!!)
I love directions and I love maps. I am mostly visual in everything I do and process so I love to see on a map where I am in relation to the rest of the world! (One of my favourite gifts this year was a road altas of North America and Mexico!! Thank you Meghan!!) I also love to remember the way after only driving there once before. I love blessing my memory to recall the route. Again, I think it's a visual thing. I take it all in and remember it almost like a significant experience. I will drive past a spot and remember the song that was playing the last time I drove there, or a conversation I was having with a friend, or a thought that I was deeply into. I also love asking Holy Spirit where to go, I think that is my most favourite! when I am lost, I ask and then when I find my way, it's the best feeling to know that I was not alone and that He spoke and I heard and He got me there!!! I LOVE IT!! I love living this life with him!!
Ok that's all for today :)

Something Someone Said Once

"We are called to obedience, not success." (James Vanderloo, Jubilee Intern Cell Oct.2007)

Yep, that challenged me... :)

Every Movement, Every Thought and Every Feeling

Jo and I did some ministry this week during our weekly skype chat...woah! God is so good.

God has been showing me how much he is really teaching me/us in this.
When this dream to pursue creativity (outside of university) was planted, Jo and I talked about having a 'Holy Spirit led' type of university time. God spoke to me about leading me and teaching me in art. It was a faith thing to believe him!! AND HE REALLY IS!

This week has been about seeing the beginnings of how he wants us to do it his way. It's amazing.

So Jo set me a project (as I have blogged about!!) and actually what ended up happening was a lot of ungodly beliefs (belief systems and values that are not in line with the heart of God) came out.
So when it came time to reflect and talk about the weeks work (as would normally happen in a college/uni setting, only it would be called a 'crit' - time to critique each other's work) Jo quickly saw that God was doing things in me that needed to be moved before I/we could go any further.

A lot of the issues were to do with jealousy (which the Kylstras have just taught on in the PIH conference! Thank you Father!!!) and out of that a lack of validation and worth in the work that I do (as you can probably see in my last blog..hehehe) So we prayed through them and talked. it was amazing! Thank you Daddy for this incredible opportunity to know your heart for creativity, thank you for knowing more than we do about the struggles and battles of being an artist. This is just such a blessing to see soooooo much of His heart for me in this area of my life...I guess up until now, I've always felt I've had to prove my creativity or squeeze it in somewhere...and even tell God what it's like and how I feel as if he doesn't understand that part of my heart...when (hehe) he knows it better than I do!!!

In the many conversations I've had with other artists - young and old - a common theme in the area where they were squashed was in school by an art teacher.
As I was thinking about writing this blog, I was thinking about you (my reader) and if there is any part of your creative heart that you felt had been shut down by another person; maybe it was an artist, a teacher, a friend, a parent.

Well this week's project is about spending time with God and working through some more of this jealousy stuff. Identifying the hurt, Forgiving, repenting for believing the lie and getting back into God's truth. Why don't you join me for a little bit...if God shows you anything, any area of your heart that he desires to be creative, a beauty that he placed in you that has been shut down...maybe try forgiving and allowing God to fill you with truth in that place again...and then let him challenge you to step out a bit more in it.

Let me know how you get on! I'm for sure gonna be sharing some more of my heart this week as these things come up!!!!

After our time together on skype, I looked again at the little things I had done this week...and I saw so much beauty. The lies had gone and the truth was staring me in the face!! I was filled with excitement for the work that I had created. God showed me a pattern too...in my work. things that I had done as separate pieces/ideas...but that actually came together and revealed a part of my heart and what he is saying to me at the moment....HE REALLY IS LEADING ME IN THIS!!

What an adventure!!!

More to come.... :)

Learning to Play Again

So this week's project has been about incorporating creativity into every day life. Understanding that creativity is something that needs to be exercised.

My biggest battle I have found is validating my creativity in my every day life. Things that I already do that are creative, things that I naturally think of that are creative. I have not been doing well with this task so far. I have been thinking about it a lot. My senses are being heightened. but recording it has been where I am not doing so wellllllla.....

how about I sing this blog out loud. yep, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna write it out, read it out, sing it out. Daddy, let my heart be open to you, let it be like a little girl who has no inhibitions or fears of what will be thought of her. I want to dance and sing out loud in and out of tune. I want to run with all of my might, as fast as I can and then fall in the pretty autumn leaves. I want to learn to do hand stands and cartwheels again and have you tell me how proud you are of me and how good I am at it. I want to colour and scribble and make pots on your potters wheel "Can I have a go please?" I want to swing on the bars and turn upside down and go all the way around. I want to fall backwards and dangle there by my legs. Will you put me on your shoulders and carry me home from the park? Daddy, i love falling asleep in the car on the way home and having you pick me up and carry me to bed. Going to get my feet measured at clarks by the measuring machine, watching it close in on my foot and the sliders slide along the numbers and letters until my size is shown. getting new shoes. learning how to whistle. going down the stairs in our sleeping bags and making loud noises so you can hear the bumps in our voices.

I want to know this freedom in my twenties. I want to be your little girl and grown up young lady and beautiful woman all at once. I want my life to carry the freedom of a child and the beauty and excellence of a grown, confident, accomplished woman. It's ok to make mistakes, I know. but what I want to give you, as a living sacrifice; my life: is a life of beauty and creativity. A life that shows my whole heart. I want to give you everything. May it be a pleasing fragrance that rises to your throne. Let it be your favourite picture that you stick to the fridge with a magnet. Let it be all of me and all of you.

Starting at the Beginning

(These next few blogs are catch ups as I have been writing at JunctionJ the last few months and these are the blogs that I have written there)
My thoughts and feelings as we start this adventure together are so mixed right now...if I am honest...which mostly I am...when I am bold enough to be so.

I am excited because I know that God is big which means big things. Big dreams, big realities, big life, big pictures, big expressions, big blessings, big lessons. I am excited because God has set us up. Me and Jo. He did it. He connected us, he planted seeds. He allowed us to spark and dream and giggle! He loves it. It is an overflow of his heart.

I am nervous because I'm not sure if I have enough to give. enough tallent, enough heart, enough humility, enough creativity.

But then I hear the truth through the lies... the TRUTH: Yelled and screamed and shouted and sung and resounded over and above the stupid lies:

I am His daughter. I am. I am His. That's enough. Enough creativity, enough heart, enough gifting. Enough. I do not need to prove myself as and artist. I am an artist. My Dad is the original and best, the first and the last. I carry Him in me. I carry his DNA. It is Him in me, not me in me. It is who He made me to be, so why should I be scared? It can't be hard to be who you are meant to be can it? It certainly shouldn't be. This who I am...and it's time to grow in that. There's so much more to disover.

I am here in Stratford, Ontario. Loving the life that Daddy is laying out before me today. Being challenged (more of that to come) learning and knowing His heart - first hand. From him. God himself, speaking to me - little me - it's pretty cool.

Just to let you know: Jo Smith and I are starting some distance learning out of JunctionJ. we are stepping out in the area of Art. I am following her (it's not hard, her fragrance is so beautiful that to pick up on it is an absolute delight) Let's see where Daddy takes us.

Lots of love xx

jesus culture - he loves us

Samson

blog hacking is fun

hi my name is liz, i have hacked into lois' blog. hmm this is naughty.....sorry Lo, i love you! make sure you write lots here while you are away! check out the cool pics of us xx

I have to celebrate you baby

I have to praise you like I shouuuuuuu u u u u u u u u u u u l d.

I finished work today. but you didn't even know that I started work since it's been way too long since we last spoke! Yep! I have been waitressing at the Nant Ddu Logde. I have loved nearly every minute of it. My favourite part is the people I worked with. they are incredible and different and lovely.

Tomorrow is Flames of Fire until Friday 10th
Then next week is Soul Survivor with City Temple's Youth group 'Reality'
And the week after that is the rest of my life. (which I will be staring off in the country of Canada)

In between these activities I need to go to London and see some very special people.

Latest news: Katy May is out of hospital and the three richards have moved to Swansea! yay!!!!! God is good.

ok, now that we are vaguely caught up, let's continue this relationship. Although as my love has said, what with Myspace, Facebook, Orkut and JunctionJ going on, I do not have much time to spend here. But i'd like to come and visit more often...especially as I'd like to fill you in on the exciting things that are happening in this crazy adventure of my life!!!

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

It's my birthday today. Yay me!! Yay God for making me!! Here are my love languages. Looks like I'm bit high maintainence...or you could look at it and think, I could pick any of the top three and she would know I love her...therefore making it easy - you have many options to choose from!

I'm surprised that gifts are low, but, having said that, I have always LOVED the home-made jobs, or the gifts that say you know me which I guess would come under quality time.


I want to learn your language. I don't just want to take a test and live by the rules. I want to learn your language, and speak it with you. I want to be welcomed into your world and love you the way that you were made to be loved.

Teach me your language. Speak it with me. I love you

The Five Love Languages

My primary love languages are probably
Physical Touch and Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		8
Quality Time:		8
Words of Affirmation:		8
Receiving Gifts:		5
Acts of Service:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Andrex soft and long

I have been to see Katy May a few times now and every time I visit, she amazes me!! She doesn't seem weak at all. of course, she is fragile, but there is nothing weak about her. She is so strong. I imagine so often all of the things that the Father must being saying to her. She is going to live an amazing life! Mark and Leanne have also knocked me over sideways with all of their wisdom and love for Katy. the are just the perfect parents for her! I LOVE Seeing my big bro being a Daddy. He's such a natural. He's also a better blogger than I am...but oh well!

Thank you so much for your prayers and support!

On another COMPLETELY different note, I'm sure you're wondering what it is like for me to back in the UK away from Brazil and my Lover.

Well, amongst other things, I have not gotten used to the old toilet habbits!!! Even though at my first restaurant experience back in Wales, when going to the toilet, I actually did put the paper in the bin and not down the toilet, I have adjusted to that function. BUT, what I haven't adjusted to is how thick and luxurious toilet paper can be. In Brazil, 2ply is a rarety, so I developed a habbit of using more than I needed, just to 'pad' it out a bit, after all, no need to worry that it will block the toilet, coz it's gonna go in the bin anyway right?!

Well, good old Andrex, does not require quite as many sheets to be used, oh no. But I am still finding myself wrapping it around and around, and simply using tooooo much! I am infact in danger of blocking the toilet and causing quite an embaressing scene!

Pray for me, please!

She's all we can think about right now

REALLY REALLY REALLY! if you haven't done it allready, click here and check out my cutie niece and see how she is doing. leave a comment there if you like!She's amazing!!

Katy May Richards

My niece - Katy May was born on April 30th 2007, weighing a tiny 750g and about 21cm long. She was born at 25weeks and is currently in St.Georges Hospital in London. She is stable, everything is in the right place and well formed, underdeveloped, but healthy. Her parents Mark (my bro) and Leanne, are INCREDIBLE and have done amazingly in the last 48hrs as they've turned their lives around to receive this gift a little, well actually A LOT earlier than expected. Katy is doing well, she's a fighter! She will remain in hospital atleast until her due date - middle of august...and really it's just about taking every day, sometimes every hours as it comes. All she needs to concentrate on is growing.

For updates please check out their blog: What Katy Did Next

Thank you for praying, and for caring. I love your support and your friendship means so much to me.

When I saw her for the first time, I was just overwhelmed by how perfectly formed she is. even at 25 weeks she has the perfectest nose and even has finger nails and toe nails!!! God really knows what he's doing when he is creating human life. And God is all over Katy, he adores her!!

By the way, I'm home for a while...but i'll update on that one later...:)