Grace is your reward

I am stuck on Grace, I can't get it out of my heart, my head or my creative ideas. I am going to do some sort of series maybe. And here it begins.
I can not live without grace. Grace has changed my life. His grace is enough. His grace is my reward.

Welcomed in

Driving in Canada

I love that I can turn right on a red light here...it saves so much time.
I don't love four-way stops...I much prefer to have the main road going through and then the minor roads at a T junction or intersection. Roundabouts are a fun alternative too.
I don't like traffic lights on roads where the speed limit is above 30 mph (not sure what that is in kpm)
I like how fast and nippy you have to be to drive in Toronto; it brings out my assertiveness.
I like that roads run east to west or north to south although I do find myself repeating Never Eat Shredded Wheat under my breath whilst driving, just to remember which direction I'm going in or should be going in! I have specific landmarks which help too. eg I know that G&C's is generally west of downtown as is TACF. Russ and Jo's and Alyn and AJ's are north. Barrie is north, but parallel north and further north than Russ and Jo's and Alyn and AJ's. Stratford is west. Niagara is south. Yorkdale is east and TACF east is east (I've never been, but cant think of anything else that is east!!)
I love directions and I love maps. I am mostly visual in everything I do and process so I love to see on a map where I am in relation to the rest of the world! (One of my favourite gifts this year was a road altas of North America and Mexico!! Thank you Meghan!!) I also love to remember the way after only driving there once before. I love blessing my memory to recall the route. Again, I think it's a visual thing. I take it all in and remember it almost like a significant experience. I will drive past a spot and remember the song that was playing the last time I drove there, or a conversation I was having with a friend, or a thought that I was deeply into. I also love asking Holy Spirit where to go, I think that is my most favourite! when I am lost, I ask and then when I find my way, it's the best feeling to know that I was not alone and that He spoke and I heard and He got me there!!! I LOVE IT!! I love living this life with him!!
Ok that's all for today :)

Something Someone Said Once

"We are called to obedience, not success." (James Vanderloo, Jubilee Intern Cell Oct.2007)

Yep, that challenged me... :)

Every Movement, Every Thought and Every Feeling

Jo and I did some ministry this week during our weekly skype chat...woah! God is so good.

God has been showing me how much he is really teaching me/us in this.
When this dream to pursue creativity (outside of university) was planted, Jo and I talked about having a 'Holy Spirit led' type of university time. God spoke to me about leading me and teaching me in art. It was a faith thing to believe him!! AND HE REALLY IS!

This week has been about seeing the beginnings of how he wants us to do it his way. It's amazing.

So Jo set me a project (as I have blogged about!!) and actually what ended up happening was a lot of ungodly beliefs (belief systems and values that are not in line with the heart of God) came out.
So when it came time to reflect and talk about the weeks work (as would normally happen in a college/uni setting, only it would be called a 'crit' - time to critique each other's work) Jo quickly saw that God was doing things in me that needed to be moved before I/we could go any further.

A lot of the issues were to do with jealousy (which the Kylstras have just taught on in the PIH conference! Thank you Father!!!) and out of that a lack of validation and worth in the work that I do (as you can probably see in my last blog..hehehe) So we prayed through them and talked. it was amazing! Thank you Daddy for this incredible opportunity to know your heart for creativity, thank you for knowing more than we do about the struggles and battles of being an artist. This is just such a blessing to see soooooo much of His heart for me in this area of my life...I guess up until now, I've always felt I've had to prove my creativity or squeeze it in somewhere...and even tell God what it's like and how I feel as if he doesn't understand that part of my heart...when (hehe) he knows it better than I do!!!

In the many conversations I've had with other artists - young and old - a common theme in the area where they were squashed was in school by an art teacher.
As I was thinking about writing this blog, I was thinking about you (my reader) and if there is any part of your creative heart that you felt had been shut down by another person; maybe it was an artist, a teacher, a friend, a parent.

Well this week's project is about spending time with God and working through some more of this jealousy stuff. Identifying the hurt, Forgiving, repenting for believing the lie and getting back into God's truth. Why don't you join me for a little bit...if God shows you anything, any area of your heart that he desires to be creative, a beauty that he placed in you that has been shut down...maybe try forgiving and allowing God to fill you with truth in that place again...and then let him challenge you to step out a bit more in it.

Let me know how you get on! I'm for sure gonna be sharing some more of my heart this week as these things come up!!!!

After our time together on skype, I looked again at the little things I had done this week...and I saw so much beauty. The lies had gone and the truth was staring me in the face!! I was filled with excitement for the work that I had created. God showed me a pattern too...in my work. things that I had done as separate pieces/ideas...but that actually came together and revealed a part of my heart and what he is saying to me at the moment....HE REALLY IS LEADING ME IN THIS!!

What an adventure!!!

More to come.... :)

Learning to Play Again

So this week's project has been about incorporating creativity into every day life. Understanding that creativity is something that needs to be exercised.

My biggest battle I have found is validating my creativity in my every day life. Things that I already do that are creative, things that I naturally think of that are creative. I have not been doing well with this task so far. I have been thinking about it a lot. My senses are being heightened. but recording it has been where I am not doing so wellllllla.....

how about I sing this blog out loud. yep, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna write it out, read it out, sing it out. Daddy, let my heart be open to you, let it be like a little girl who has no inhibitions or fears of what will be thought of her. I want to dance and sing out loud in and out of tune. I want to run with all of my might, as fast as I can and then fall in the pretty autumn leaves. I want to learn to do hand stands and cartwheels again and have you tell me how proud you are of me and how good I am at it. I want to colour and scribble and make pots on your potters wheel "Can I have a go please?" I want to swing on the bars and turn upside down and go all the way around. I want to fall backwards and dangle there by my legs. Will you put me on your shoulders and carry me home from the park? Daddy, i love falling asleep in the car on the way home and having you pick me up and carry me to bed. Going to get my feet measured at clarks by the measuring machine, watching it close in on my foot and the sliders slide along the numbers and letters until my size is shown. getting new shoes. learning how to whistle. going down the stairs in our sleeping bags and making loud noises so you can hear the bumps in our voices.

I want to know this freedom in my twenties. I want to be your little girl and grown up young lady and beautiful woman all at once. I want my life to carry the freedom of a child and the beauty and excellence of a grown, confident, accomplished woman. It's ok to make mistakes, I know. but what I want to give you, as a living sacrifice; my life: is a life of beauty and creativity. A life that shows my whole heart. I want to give you everything. May it be a pleasing fragrance that rises to your throne. Let it be your favourite picture that you stick to the fridge with a magnet. Let it be all of me and all of you.

Starting at the Beginning

(These next few blogs are catch ups as I have been writing at JunctionJ the last few months and these are the blogs that I have written there)
My thoughts and feelings as we start this adventure together are so mixed right now...if I am honest...which mostly I am...when I am bold enough to be so.

I am excited because I know that God is big which means big things. Big dreams, big realities, big life, big pictures, big expressions, big blessings, big lessons. I am excited because God has set us up. Me and Jo. He did it. He connected us, he planted seeds. He allowed us to spark and dream and giggle! He loves it. It is an overflow of his heart.

I am nervous because I'm not sure if I have enough to give. enough tallent, enough heart, enough humility, enough creativity.

But then I hear the truth through the lies... the TRUTH: Yelled and screamed and shouted and sung and resounded over and above the stupid lies:

I am His daughter. I am. I am His. That's enough. Enough creativity, enough heart, enough gifting. Enough. I do not need to prove myself as and artist. I am an artist. My Dad is the original and best, the first and the last. I carry Him in me. I carry his DNA. It is Him in me, not me in me. It is who He made me to be, so why should I be scared? It can't be hard to be who you are meant to be can it? It certainly shouldn't be. This who I am...and it's time to grow in that. There's so much more to disover.

I am here in Stratford, Ontario. Loving the life that Daddy is laying out before me today. Being challenged (more of that to come) learning and knowing His heart - first hand. From him. God himself, speaking to me - little me - it's pretty cool.

Just to let you know: Jo Smith and I are starting some distance learning out of JunctionJ. we are stepping out in the area of Art. I am following her (it's not hard, her fragrance is so beautiful that to pick up on it is an absolute delight) Let's see where Daddy takes us.

Lots of love xx

jesus culture - he loves us

Samson