Patience

About 5 months ago, at the end of one of my blogs I quoted something that I had written to a friend about what I had been learning: "I have been learning that Love is Patient. when God is patient with me, it's not patience that is weary, or itching for something to happen, or doubtful that the desire will one day be filled. His patience for me, is strong, peaceful, resting and welcoming. He waits for me with patience. He loves me with patience. there is no pressure, there is grace, it is complete. I want this patience. I want to rest in my love for people. I want to rest in God's love for me. I want to love and for that love to be patient."

And now I am being blown away by so much more of this patient love. I really don't know what is going to happen next...and that 'next' doesn't mean next year, or next month or even next week, right now, 'next', to me, means tomorrow. I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I have desires and dreams growing inside me and I want to know the outcome, I want to feel 'safe' in my own understanding. But God is asking me to be patient. To rest in his love which is patient: not weary, or itching for something to happen, or doubtful that the desire will one day be fulfilled. His patience is strong, peaceful, resting and welcoming, full of grace and complete.

Wow! God really is good ALL of the time, he really does know everything and really is faithful in preparing me for what's ahead. 5 months ago, I had no idea that I would still be unfolding the deptth of God's love that is patient.

Here is a confession: my biggest frustration in speaking portuguese is that it takes me so long to say what I want to say. (Because I am not fluent yet)I feel embarresed and sometimes I just don't speak at all for this very reason. God was talking to me about this. People need to be patient with me when I speak, and wow, what an incredible blessing it is when they are. I find it hard to even accept this kind of love. (and probably harder to love myself with this kind of love!)

So I am learning to be patient; not with my own patience or with the patience of the world, but by receiveing, being crushed, consumed and overwhelmed by God's love that is completely patient.
Honestly, it's not easy to wait. But it is always worth it. and God's grace is enough. it has to be - he promised and he never breaks his promises.