Lolita

Said goodbye to Cathy, Gordon, Meghan and Matthew 2 days ago.
Yeh, it was sad.
I was doing fine, and then all of a sudden I felt the sorrow rise up from the bottom of my stomach, it reached my eyeballs and then leaked out of the corners of my eyes and rested just underneath my lower eyelids.

I had so much fun with them and I just love them so much!

I realised the night before they left, that the pain of saying goodbye was only a great sign of how deeply they have melted into my heart and how openly they have welcomed me into theirs. The pain, even though it hurts, is hugly outweighed by the goodtimes, laughter, love and hope of seeing them all again.

Thank you Papa for such an incredible blessing of relationship and leadership. Thank you for the Beautiful Harris Family. Thank you, more than a thousand times over for loving me so much and giving me the awesome gift of relationship.

We had so much fun!
More pictures to come when I get hold of them...but for now, feast your eyes on this great captured moment!!!

The end

I love endings, especially happy ones, but even bad or sad endings are worth being valued because with every ending, must come a new beginning, in some shape or form.

The end of what may have been the busiest few months of my life, has occured. Even my closets friends were questioning my continuing exsitance since I had not been in contact with anyone for so long - due to the busyness of these past months.

I AM ALIVE.

Let it be known throughout the land that my God is good and faithful and so REAL. I am a living testemony to this very fact. I am alive and that's enough for me. For now.

However, my new beginning hasn't arrived yet...unless it did and I missed it.

I find myself now, in that space between the end and the beginning. The credits have rolled and the Amblin entertainment logo has been shown and now there is just the black screen, or the blue screen with a little green 'Video 1' display on the top left hand corner(depending on which T.V. your're looking at).

There is not much to do, but wait...and rest. Even though the screen shows nothing, the silence is peaceful as the memories of the past moments replay in my mind. As waves of emotion drift over my heart, I am left to contemplate all that has gone before and the endless possibilities of what is yet to come.

I am peaceful, sometimes broken, mostly learning to lay my pride down and trust in the Lord my God, will all of my heart, my whole heart, relying not on my own understanding but in everything I do, acknowledging him for He is the one who makes my paths straight.

I am alive.
And I am waiting to continue this adventure...and yet, even the waiting is part of the glorious journey.

Beloved